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Mary (00:00):

Anyway. Uh, so Kristin and I were just talking about something that’s kind of, that’s not really related to what we were going to be talking about today, but I think so many of us can relate to this. Um, Kristen was telling me that she’s been kind of like, and I same thing here. She’s kind of like, YOLO’d her nutrition since Halloween, since

Kristin (00:21):

Halloween, I’ve been under a lot of stress. Some days I don’t eat most of the day. And then I eat a lot of food because I’m hungry and I didn’t have time to cook. And I don’t know what the macros are. My husband makes delicious food. It’s okay though.

Mary (00:40):

Do you find, okay, wait, before I get to the point of this, do you find that on those days, like when the days aren’t laid out perfectly or at least with some good order and consistency, that training is impossible because you’re like ‘well, I know about performance nutrition. I can’t, I can’t work out on this. What am I doing?’ No, that leads into today’s episode perfectly. Okay.

Kristin (01:02):

Because that’s what made me think about this topic was that there are days where like, it’s crazy, but I’m like, I need to move my body today. I need to train. And I’m like, well, my nutrition, wasn’t perfect, but that’s okay. I’m going to go train anyway. Um, as opposed to waiting for it to be perfect. Because right now my day, I just have a lot of things like I’m house hunting, I’m making a lot of changes to Fiercely Fueled. I have a lot of meetings that pop up of a lot of things happening randomly from day-to-day. I can no longer plan my day. And so it’s like, well, I’ve got 45 minutes. I’m going to go out to the shed and try to get in some of my lifting and my nutrition may not have been perfect. The other day, I thought my day was going to be great.

Kristin (01:53):

I ate my pre-training meal. I was going to do some work for two hours, go out to the shed lift. I went to go out to the shed and my husband and his friend were actually installing some windows. So for those of you that don’t know, my, my birthday present for my husband this year was my lifting shed. Um, so anyway, it’s been under construction for a long time. Um, but they were installing windows and I was like, Oh, I can’t train while they’re installing windows. So then I ended up training like way later in the day. My nutrition was not ideal. It wasn’t ideal. It wasn’t perfect for training then. Yeah. But that’s okay. Yeah. It’s more important I think to get the training in, I mean, unless like you literally haven’t eaten all day, then maybe that’s not going to lead to good training, but

Mary (02:53):

Yeah, no, you know, I remember when I was really struggling with binge-eating, um, it was kind of that same feeling, but it was really like really on the other end, it was, it was a lot more toxic, I would say. So I would like be really restrictive for the day. And like, I would have a one day that was perfect. I mean, to the macro, to the T this perfect restriction, if there was ever such a thing. And then the next day something, life would happen because as life does, it happens. Right. And then the next day I would, something would happen. And I would be like off by a little bit, or I couldn’t perfectly replicate the day before. And so everything would fall apart and I would just binge all day. I’d be like, well, if I can’t have a perfect day, I’m just gonna this, whatever it is, what it is, I failed, I’m a loser.

Mary (03:45):

I can’t handle this. And I would binge and you know, it’s taken me a long time and I talked to my clients about this all the time. It’s like, it just takes time to recognize that we’re not looking for perfect. No one can handle, no one can do perfection. No, if you’re always seeking perfection, you will always, always be, um, disappointed because it just, it doesn’t exist. But what is, is consistency, you can be consistent. Now, what you’re consistent at is going to be dependent on where you go in life, right? If you are consistent at waking up and being on your phone all day and never doing anything and just perpetuating this nothingness, then yeah. You’re consistently never going to go anywhere. But if you are consistently trying to work on your nutrition, going to the gym, doing what Kristin is doing, which is way better than what I would do when I don’t sometimes even today, like if I I’ve been really struggling with eating enough.

Mary (04:45):

So I have been tracking macros a little bit, not like full on trying to hit anything, but just as a gentle reminder, like, Hey, like you need to eat. Like the other day I sent Kristin a screenshot and I had eaten like 700 calories. And it was like 8:00 PM. Um, for those of you who follow me on Instagram, you may have seen the macaroni and cheese sour bread sandwich concoction. I made, I had to make that so that I could eat enough in the day. Um, but I’ve been struggling with that. And I find that on the days that I’m not eating enough, um, I just don’t go train because I know I’m not going to feel good. Yeah. I don’t know if that’s wrong or right. It just, it, it is what it is. Right. I think it’s

Kristin (05:26):

Dependent upon your training for that day too. So like, if I’m going into like a really heavy or difficult, like squat or deadlift, uh, session, I need to eat, I need to have eaten, you know, so I’m not going to, if I have an, if it’s 5:00 PM and I have not eaten much all day, which like, hopefully this has happening rarely, but if it happens, then I’m probably going to shift that to the next day. But if it’s, um, a lighter day or if it’s like I have one or two days that are mostly just auxiliaries and accessories and I can do those without having nailed my nutrition.

Mary (06:12):

Yeah. No completely. Uh, it’s that feeling of when you’re trying to push some heavy weights and you have under fueled, I’m sure we’ve all been there. That feeling of just being weak, like, yeah, it sucks. It’s a sucky feeling. And I noticed too. Um, and I actually had this conversation

Kristin (06:31):

With Stacy Burr one day., um, that I can get away with one day of being under fueled more than I can get away with a day of being under hydrated. So that’s what I really, if I haven’t drank much water, that’s going to be a really difficult training session. The food I eat enough most days that like, if I’m not great, one day it’s okay. Um, but the water, if I’m dehydrated or in like have not consistently got in water that that’s, I really feel that in my training.

Mary (07:08):

Mm. Well, there’s a reason as to why you can go a lot longer without eating than you can drinking. Your body can compensate for that better. It, it cannot there’s no, it can’t just make up water from something inside of your body. Like the food that you eat. Yeah. It can start taking away your muscles. It can start taking away your fat. It can even get into your bones. Like it can find energy in your body, but it can’t find water because you can’t make water.

Kristin (07:37):

You don’t have to be perfect. You just need to be consistent. And so some, some periods of time, your consistency is going to look maybe close to perfect. You’re able to nail everything. You’re not experiencing a ton of stress in your work life or home life. Um, you’re able to just line everything up perfectly. And then there are other times where that’s just impossible. It’s not going to happen. Um, and it’s okay to just say, wow, things are really challenging right now. It’s difficult for me to, to get everything lined up the way that I’m used to doing. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t keep trying. And that doesn’t mean that I can’t find some level of consistency. So for me right now, it’s going out and getting in training. Even if I know I’m not going to be able to finish my session, at least getting in some training or going out and training, uh, maybe less than optimal nutrition, but like one thing that you can always do, which I’ve been doing a lot of, just a caveat here.

Kristin (08:52):

If you need to go train in like, like Mary or I, if you had a super crazy busy day and didn’t really get much of a chance to eat, you can always do like a whey protein shake with some dextrose and drink that like right. Pump real quick. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, and even drink that during training so that there’s always things that you can do, um, to help improve your nutrition around training that are really simple. Another one is like, just making sure you have these things on hand, like quick digesting carbohydrates, so that if you planned to train four hours ago, and now here you are like, haven’t eaten much, eat some rice cakes with some jam on them and run out to your shed and train, you know, or like I said, the whey and dextrose, that’s a perfect one. Um, I also sometimes have had to change my training. I never trained first thing in the morning. I hate to train first thing in the morning, but, but right now it’s about consistency and not perfection. And so sometimes I’ll go, I don’t really have two hours to digest my usual, like what I prefer for my pre-training meal. So I’m going to have some whey and some dextrose and run out and train first thing in the morning because that’s what I have to do to get it in today. Is it the best training I ever have? No, because I’m used to training about 3:00 PM.

Mary (10:22):

Everything feels like three times the effort.

Kristin (10:26):

I just don’t like to move my body in the morning. I don’t plus now it’s like cold in the morning, but

Mary (10:32):

I think so when I was younger in my disordered eating days, when I first got into fitness, like I would get up at four 30 and go run every day. And I remember loving it. I just, I loved it so much. And I think it was more like the peace that it brought me. Like it was very calming and whatever, but it was almost like I did myself dirty because I stopped doing that. And then ever trying to go back to that, like, I know what it feels like to sleep a normal amount and wake up at a normal time and not like go and push your body in the morning to like ease into the day. I don’t know if I could ever go back and do the intense wake ups. Like those were just a lot, you know? Um, but going back to something that you said, um, it’s something that, so this year, I, I think like a lot of us, I decided it was the year that I should probably work on my mental health because it really took a turn for a while there.

Mary (11:29):

And while I was in therapy, um, my therapist would tell me, she’d asked me. So if I had a bad day, I’d be like, I just had a bad day. It was a bad day. It is what it is, what it is. It was a bad, I just, I just couldn’t handle it. And she goes, well, okay, next time you have, what’s starting to be a bad day, ask yourself, like, what can I do right now to make my day better? Is there something I could change? Is there something I could do? What I, what can I control in this situation right now? So that I don’t end up in a really shitty day? Maybe I just have an okay day. And I think the same thing with nutrition and training, like, okay, this day is not going the way that we planned, what are the steps that I need to take to make this an okay day versus a perfect day versus like not a complete dumpster fire, right? Like what can we do? And sometimes that’s just going to look differently. Maybe it’s like, what Kristin said, you wake up early the next day and you, and you train, or maybe it’s you go in. And you’re like, okay, I can not do the programming that is laid out for me. Let’s do something really quick that works on some weaknesses and get out, you know, it’s just about what can I do right now? What’s the next step, rather than wallowing in self-pity saying, Oh, my day sucked. Yeah. Your day sucked. Okay. So now

Kristin (12:42):

Yes. And, and I think just accepting that accepting like, Oh, this is not the way to say, I just had a day like this the other day I was geared up for a really productive day and I’m not entirely sure what happened. I don’t even – This is a funny thing. It was just a few days ago. I don’t even remember what went wrong, but things were going wrong. It was not going well. I was not responding to the day well. And that to me was a sign of like, I was fighting this, this, I thought I should be more productive and I was really struggling. And that was a signal to me of, you know what, just back up, just back up, let’s just take some time for yourself and see what happens, see what you can fit in. So that looked like I got through like the work that I had to get through.

Kristin (13:34):

Right. Like I always talk about having a list of non-negotiables like, what do you have to do today? And, and that list hopefully is small. Um, the stuff that you absolutely have to do. And then the list of, you know, okay, if I have time, I’ll do this. So I looked at my list of everything I needed to do. And I was like, okay, let me get through all of this stuff. And then I went and did something. I never do. I went and laid in bed and I watched Netflix and I ended up napping. I nap like maybe once a year,

Mary (14:04):

Kristin is not a napper.

Kristin (14:06):

Yeah. Um, and it meant that then once I got up and was like, okay, I could train, uh, the sun was going to set in 25 minutes and I still don’t have lights in my shed. So I was like, well, I guess I’m not training today. And you know what, that’s okay. I needed to just take care of myself in a different way that day. And then guess what the rest of the week was fine. And I think that it’s really important for us to just to accept what’s happening on a day and figuring out what we can do to like work with it and to work with ourselves.

Mary (14:39):

Yeah. If you can imagine, like, I like to imagine it like this when I was younger, back in when my youth.

Kristin (14:47):

cause you’re so old right now,

Mary (14:49):

I feel, you know what, I, I didn’t think I would feel so different between now and when I was like 22, but I don’t even know who that person is.

Kristin (14:58):

Hahaha, welcome to aging!

Mary (15:02):

It’s crazy. So I like to imagine when I was younger, when I would have a not so great day when I didn’t have any tools to get me through whatever I was going through or to work on things, I would imagine a day like a wrecking ball. It would come straight at me and it would knock me over and everything would be over. Like I, and I couldn’t get up. Right. You just got hit with a wrecking ball, it’s over. But as I’ve gotten older, I’m like, I have a lot of things going on behind the scenes that I’m sure all of us do. Right. We only share so much on social media. And right now there’s a lot going on in my house that a year, even a year ago would cause me to panic a lot. But now the metaphor is, it’s like a big gush of wind.

Mary (15:49):

It’s going to hit you. It’s going to surprise you. You may be knocked over for a second, but it’s just wind. Like, it’s just, it’s not gonna make or break you. You need to get back up and figure out like, okay, what do I need to do? Do I need to get out of the wind? How do I make this situation better? How do I set up my environment to make this better? You know, think of it as just like, just let it go. Cause all these things are really in the grand scheme of things, not a big deal. Like if Kristin misses a day of training, if I miss a day of training, it’s no big deal. And like setting up your environment to, to be consistent rather than perfect. It’s a conversation I had with my coach. You know, we have an issue with the kittens right now in our house, which requires a lot of effort on my part.

Mary (16:35):

So I, I talked to her and I said, Hey, I’ve got, I’ve got this going on in my house. I would love to be able to train five days a week. It’s not going to happen. It is, it is legitimately. I don’t have the energy to do it. I can’t do it. I don’t have the mental focus to do it. And she was like, okay, what about like three shortened days? How does that sound? And I was like, Oh, absolutely. That took so much pressure off me to be perfect rather than having five days where I’m panicking to get training in. And it ends up not happening because I know it’s not going to happen. I get three shorter days that I get it in. It’s fine. It’s not exactly what I’d like to be doing, but it’s fine. And I move on.

Kristin (17:17):

Right. Well, and I think that this is especially an important message right now because we have a few things happening right now. We have holidays coming up. We also have a lot of places that are shutting back down. And so I think that like, we’ve been here before, right? We’ve all experienced holidays that pop up in the middle of our goals. Um, and we’ve all experienced like lockdowns or shutdowns. And so now we can say, okay, how did things go last time? And how do I want them to go different this time? Um, and really focusing on the consistency over the perfection. Um, I, some people are celebrating holidays. Some people are not celebrating holidays, but if you are celebrating holidays and you feel anxious about not being in control of your food, just remember it’s one day. So hitting your macros or following your hunger cues one day only does not lead to success nor does not following those things one day. So it’s one day it’s okay.

Mary (18:34):

It’s totally okay. But on, I mean, on that note, let’s build on that just a little bit. If you are working through disordered eating and learning your hunger cues and all that good stuff, which by the way, if you’re curious about hunger cues, I’m going to be having something free happening in the future involving hunger cues. Um, but anyway, don’t go into these days, especially Thanksgiving. It’s a big one. If you are celebrating it, don’t go into these days by starving yourself all day. Oh gosh.

Kristin (19:09):

Yeah. I say that to my clients all the time, when they have events like, and they’re like, what do I do? I’m like, well, number one, don’t go hungry because we know what happens when you go to an event where you’re hungry and there’s all this delicious food is. You’re gonna eat a lot more of it because you’re hungry and it tastes really good. Um,

Mary (19:32):

Even if you don’t have a bad relationship with food. You are still human and you experience hunger, you’re going to eat.

Kristin (19:38):

Exactly. So my trick for, for days like this is to, before the leading up to the event, eat lean proteins. So save up some fats, eat lean protein sources, um, eat lower carbohydrate foods. So save some carbs, but fill up on like all of the delicious things that think of filling up your plate, that don’t take up a lot of calories. So lots of vegetables, things like that. Um, that’s a really good strategy to keep yourself full and satiated going into an event like that; drink lots of water. Um, and then go and just enjoy. Don’t stress. If you have to make weight for a meet, that’s a different story, then stress, okay, Meet directors: Can we stop having meets right after Thanksgiving and Christmas?

Mary (20:40):

Why is this even a thing we should be taking off November and December off for the holidays, like for everyone. Um, but also if you are working through your relationship with food, um, I, what Kristin said may sound restrictive. Even it’s solid advice, 10 out of 10 advice. I recommend just eating, eating like you normally would. Um, cause even if you do end up eating more at the end of the day, when you have your meal, um, that’s bigger, right? And we eat five pieces of pie guilty. Um, it’s no big deal. It truly is no big deal. Um, and you’re going to actually want less, like Kristin said, if you are coming in fueled, if you’re coming in with food already in your gut, because if you’re coming in hungry, you feel like you need to compensate. Like you have this permission to eat 20,000 calories. But if you come in with food in your gut already, first of all, you don’t want that much food. Second of all, you’re more likely to stop because you’re already feeling fine.

Kristin (21:41):

Yeah. Um, I am guilty of when I go to events at my parents’ house, my mom always puts out the best spread of like hors d’oeuvres and I dive into those cheese and gluten-free crackers. My mom is awesome and accommodating for my celiac disease. So like literally everything will be gluten-free and I don’t keep foods like that in my house. And I just dive in and I’m like, Oh, what am I doing? I just ate like at a whole block of cheese. It’s okay. It’s okay.

Mary (22:22):

One day is this goes back to consistency over perfection. If you are consistently eating like that, then there’s something that needs to be addressed. But if it’s just one day, it’s fine.

Kristin (22:36):

Yes. Yeah. It’s okay.

Mary (22:40):

I think like, because of the, we all start, most of us started in the fitness world and the fitness world is very, the mindset is 100 go all in. It’s so intense. You know, if you’re not 1000% committed to your goals, you’re a loser. And so we came with this intensity into fitness, which is admirable, I guess, but it creates some very bad mindsets that if it’s not perfect, it’s not worth trying. It’s not worth doing. And I think as we, as you progress into the fitness world, so many of us go through this as you progress into the world of fitness and then strength, you recognize, like, it really, it doesn’t matter that much, that these people are kind of just preying on your insecurities and saying like, this is the way that it needs to be when really it doesn’t, it’s fine.

Mary (22:40):


Kristin (23:34):

And no, you can’t keep that up for, Oh, ears. We’re talking right now. We’re talking about, so longevity in sport is a big thing for Mary and I. Staying in your sport for as long as you want to. Uh, so for me, I still plan to be doing meets when I’m 80. Um, so like, I need to take care of myself. You can’t keep up that level of intensity and that level of perfection for years, you might be able to do it for a year or two, honestly, if you’re really, really dedicated and really driven, but you’re going to get to a place then where you’re really burnt out and, and then you need to go, let me step back. How can I figure out how to have a little bit better balance, a little bit better consistency, as opposed to basically putting the entire rest of my life on hold, just so I can meet my lifting and my nutrition goals. Yeah, that seems a little short-sighted.

Mary (24:35):

Yeah. We, when we start, we end up thinking, we need to mold our life to fit a nutrition plan and a fitness plan, but really you need to learn that you have to mold fitness and nutrition to fit your life, which is why I like when I take people through intuitive being, Kristin does the same thing with macros. It’s really just one big experiment. Like we have the things set up in place that we want you to learn, or we want you to follow the everyone follows, but how we get you there, how we create it to fit your life, how do we mold it to fit your unique experience is going to be different for each individual person. And that’s what makes our job so fun is like, it’s a big experiment. We’re like, okay, you have this weird thing. Let’s what do we do? I mean,

Kristin (25:22):

So I have some clients that come to me. They have a lot of experience with counting macros. They have a lot of experience with nutrition. I can basically just be like, these are your macros. And they go, and they do a really good job, um, in terms of like following their plan. And then we’re working on different things, such as timing, we’re working on really looking at their recovery. And then I have people that come to me that have no knowledge of nutrition and counting macros. And it’s going to look very different for those people. They’re not going to hit the ground running like the other people. Does it mean that they’re not going to be successful? No, we’re just starting at a different place. And I know that us working on maybe meal timing is going to be way down the road. We need to work on other things first. And it is, every person is different. Every person’s journey is different. This is why we always say you can’t compare yourself to someone else, everyone starting from a different point.

Mary (26:19):

Yeah. And like, you know, there’s nothing wrong with doing that. And I think, I think so many of us feel like we have to, when we get into nutrition or training, or when we have goals, like we need to be hitting the ground running, going from like zero to 100 real fast. But Kristin and I both in our experiences, coaches, Kristin, way longer than I have, the way that you make changes is you consistently do things. You change small habits over time. And that progresses into really big changes, but it comes back to consistency. Kristin would rather have a client and I would rather have a client that’s consistently doing the things and trying the things, even if they’re not perfect, then a client that comes back every week that says they did it perfectly. Because every time I have someone that says I had a perfect week, I’m like, what are you lying about? What happened?

Kristin (27:14):

I definitely have, I definitely have some clients that are rock stars like that. And I don’t know how they’re doing it. Um, but, and they like, they’re doing great. And that’s just where they are in their life right now. Like I said, some people can definitely do that, but other people, it’s not going to look that way. And, and the worst part is when someone’s data doesn’t look perfect or someone’s a week, doesn’t look perfect. And they beat themselves up about it. As a coach, I hate to see that it makes me really sad. I’m like, no, no, no, wait, you did the best that you could. And we learned some things. Let’s take those things that we learned this week and apply them to the future. How can we A) either prevent this thing that completely fell apart? Where, what cues did we miss along the way that when they pop up next time we say, oops, we’re headed towards this place.

Kristin (28:07):

You know, red flag, what do we do? Um, there, you can always learn something through that. And I think making these slow changes over time. Okay, you’ve mastered one small piece of the puzzle. Let’s add another piece into the mix and see what happens and things might get kind of exactly things might get tossed in the air a little bit. And then we’ll find balance again in, and for some people it’s quick, right? It’ll go, boom, boom, boom. They can, they can master all of these pieces very quickly. And other people, one piece thrown in there that’s new is a lot of chaos and overwhelming and takes a little bit of time for them to master again before they get to, Oh, okay. I see how all these pieces fit together. I’m ready for the next piece now.

Mary (28:57):

Yeah. Yeah.

Kristin (28:59):

And, and that’s going to change throughout different parts of your life, right? Depending on what’s going on in your life. I have been both of those people at different parts of my life.

Mary (29:08):

Absolutely. And, and, uh, like I wish so many of my clients could see their progress through my eyes because when, especially like for my stuff, for my clients, working through disordered eating while trying to do performance nutrition while try and do all these things, they don’t see the big progress that I see. So like, if I have someone who’s been suffering with binge-eating and we’re working through that and we get to a point where the person says, yeah, well, you know this meal, I don’t feel like I ate enough because I left food on my plate. And I just full, I will full stop the conversation and say, I’m sorry, you left food on your plate. Do you not see like how big that is? Do you know, five weeks ago you would have completely binged that entire plate. Like there wouldn’t have been an option, but you’re learning.

Mary (29:58):

And they’re like, Oh, I didn’t even think because they think the only way that they can be celebrated is if they’re better and that’s not true, you need to celebrate all these little wins along the way. And that’s why, you know, that’s why having a coach like a training coach, uh, or a nutrition coach or a life coach can be really amazing because you can tell them these things, that to you, because you’re living it, you’re in it. You don’t know what the process looks like. You haven’t seen multiple people go through the same thing you’re going through. And when you tell them these things to you, it might seem like, Oh, it’s a small, tiny baby thing. But then when they say your coach is like, Oh my God, who are you? You’re completely different person. This is amazing. Don’t you see? And then explains it like, it’s the consistency, but it’s also celebrating the little wins

Kristin (30:46):

For sure. The little wins are so important. I know a lot of times people hire coaches because they want to get from point a to point B. And they’re so focused on point B that they miss all of the things that add up. Like it’s not really what you’re wanting is yet from point a to point Z. But you see it as point B. You’re not seeing all these other what 24 points in between. Yes.

Mary (31:12):

And we, we know those, those other points exist and we have to celebrate all those points because you’re going to get to Z as long as you continually put in the effort and are continually trying to work things in. Um, and I think, you know, now that we’re going into the holidays, things are shutting down again. It’s the same thing with training. I know I get it. Home workouts, feel like a complete useless thing. They, they seem pointless, but it’s better than nothing. It’s about retaining that movement pattern. Yes. And just continuing that good habit that you have.

Kristin (31:53):

I’ve seen some interesting, um, yeah. Anecdotal research by coaches and trainers with the first shutdown, um, that are clients that were doing even body weight, very minimal body weight stuff at home versus their clients that didn’t do that. The people that did do that, retained a lot more muscle mass and strength. So even though it felt pointless, it didn’t feel at all like regular training, especially if you’re high level athletes doing bodyweight stuff is going to feel absolutely pointless, but it’s not right. So we have good, we have good evidence from the first time we went through this to support. Okay, you should probably be doing some body weight stuff at home.

Mary (32:48):

Yeah. And from the first time we have learned so many people have graced us with fun home hacks of things you can use as weights. Things that can challenge you. You know, there’s no like a whole category of fitness and strength. That’s just at home workouts with random shit in your house. And that’s wonderful because we need that. Especially as we go into what will probably be another lockdown for all of us. And that just kinda is what it is. Um, so yeah, consistency over perfection because perfection is exhausting.

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